HIMstrata announced Tuesday that its Employee of the Month had processed more than 140,000 claims without taking a lunch break, calling in sick, or leaving his workstation.
The employee, Kevin, is an automated claims-processing script.
"When you look at that kind of dedication, you have to ask yourself what's possible," said Executive Vice President Craig Haddock, presenting a bar graph comparing Kevin's productivity with that of the company's human billing staff.
Kevin performed particularly well in attendance, avoiding workplace distractions, and remaining at his workstation.
Senior Revenue Specialist Susan Sprigs pointed out that Kevin had also crashed a staging database twice and released several thousand claims without completing the required checks.
Haddock acknowledged her concerns but encouraged employees to appreciate the achievement.
"Nobody's perfect, Susan. We're celebrating consistency."
Developer Marcus Lee confirmed that Kevin's perfect attendance was largely due to the fact that he lived on a server.
Human Resources presented Kevin with an engraved trophy. Facilities placed it beside his equipment.
By Wednesday, supervisors were distributing laminated photographs of Kevin's terminal window beneath the motivational caption "What's Your Excuse?"
The next round of employee performance evaluations will include a new category for uninterrupted productivity.
The Kevin Files is fictional workplace satire from Revenue Cycle Uncovered.